This year marks 14 fundraising years for Team Taylor, a team of our family and friends in memory of my older brother, Alex Taylor (1989-2013).
What can I tell you after 14 years of being in the "cancer world" and 13 years without my brother? A lot.
I can tell you that I have seen a lot change. There has been a lot of work done to improve treatment options. One that probably could have prolonged his life - but not save it. We care about things like quality of life while facing a cancer diagnosis now. We think about the immediate family and how it affects them. We know people need better education on how to navigate the healthcare system. Like I said, a lot of work has been done.
There has been more heart break along the way. My brothers oncologist, Dr. Couban passed away of his own cancer. That was a sucker punch and a tough one for many of us to wrap our heads around. How can the one person who is trying to save as many people as possible suffer the same fate? It seems cruel - yet I also think when he crossed the rainbow bridge or whatever you believe in.. he had a heck of a lot of patients waiting for him on the other side.
I've met siblings like me - who lost their brothers too soon in life. We lost the people who are supposed to help us figure out the hard stuff in life, and be present for the good things - like the birth of my two children. Everyday, I think about how I will explain Uncle Alex. It's a really tough one to navigate.
Time has allowed me to understand more about my brother's passing. I don't know that anyone ever gets over a loss this big - but you do start to see how you can learn from grief.
It goes without saying that I wish my brother was still here. But.. I have learned that even when those we love leave us, they stick around to teach us many things. I've learned deep compassion for how difficult life is for each of us, and that it's all relative. I've learned that patience is something rarely given, but often taken. I've learned that it's a lot easier to assume the best. I've learned that we all have a lot to learn - and the gift of time allows you to be a forever student. I've learned that there will always be more to do - and there will always be more to say - but listening is always the most powerful gift you can offer someone.
An ear when life is tough. That is the greatest gift my brother taught me.
